So Breathe It In: Archive

1 tag

It’s happening again. This rare pain i feel comes and goes on its own, taking control of my life as it pleases. It knows every dark corner of my mind and it follows me, plaguing me, until i shine light in on it for a short time, and it always creeps back up on me in the shadows of the dark and sits atop my shoulder until i choose to acknowledge it. Then it hides away, daring not be seen, and...

May 4th

2 tags

i miss you so much. nothing feels like it’s different and i’m just stuck here and i’m so jealous that you got to move on but i’m still waiting for you somehow, in some parallel. i want you back??? except not really. i can’t remember how we stopped talking. i just remember that i made some really selfish decisions and i hurt both of our feelings last year and i...

Apr 5th

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I guess i’ll just be quiet from now on because apparently everyone has a problem with whatever comes out of my mouth

Mar 28th

4 tags

this really sux!!!!

Jan 16th

5 tags

Dec 24th

3 notes

3 tags

Where has the time gone?

Nov 26th

2 tags

oh god i haven’t pushed anyone away this much in months and it’s scary

Oct 30th

3 tags

i don’t want to feel anything anymore. i don’t want to live

Oct 17th

2 tags

omg remember when you sang that song..and it was obviously directed towards me and i didn’t even know how to handle my emotions so i just started bawling and anyway that’s how i feel now except instead of this relief feeling it’s more of a crushing one and this isn’t even that situation or nowhere near it

Sep 20th

2 tags

[[MORE]]things i’m tired of hearing at home: you ruined their dinner/night why can’t you just be normal what is wrong with you/what is going on with you you can’t do anything right you are the cause of all of this you are the reason our family is falling apart it’s all your fault you are the most selfish person i’ve ever met

Sep 20th

3 tags

to the person who knew me the best and the most this past year: have i really been such a dead weight? am i really all of those things to you?

Sep 13th

every day is such a fucking struggle. i hate myself and i want to die

Sep 11th

2 tags

i’m no longer wondering who i am, i’m now trying to figure out what i want

Sep 9th

1 tag

today felt like a really long extended metaphor for last year, and the same time last year specifically, and it hurt in all of the places that felt anything today, and the pain was so dull and so sharp at the same time in my brain and it’s the only thing that’s been keeping me awake for months

Sep 6th

3 tags

I hate you. I hate what you’ve done to her. I can’t think about you without my eyes welling up in tears and my face burning and my stomach churning. I really cannot go a day without thinking about how messed up I’ve become because of you and how messed up she’s become because of you. You absolutely sicken me. Please stop coming around. Don’t show your face here...

Aug 21st

3 tags

today was a really good day. i got to really open myself up to God and surrender myself to serve others through community service in cupertino and at the same time spreading his love and lalala ^___^ And also worship night was really lovely and then i went out to dinner with my best friends so yeah! i can’t wait until tomorrow LOL. im not really doing anything but i’m just excited to...

Aug 6th

1 note

3 tags

its so weird to see all of these like heartbroken girls all over tumblr and all of them crying over boys and all of that stuff. i know you’ve been hurt in the past, so why do you keep seeking boys and their attention? plz someone explain!!!1

Aug 6th

5 tags

sometimes i feel weirdly neglected but then idk maybe it’s just me. but then i wonder, does this really all come from you? from what you’ve done to me? i feel like this too often. and i wish i never met you because ugh auguhguguhgh i hate you

Jul 27th

1 tag

Jul 27th

120,025 notes

1 tag

im too exhausted to write about you anymore

Jul 17th

3 tags

holy shit, really? is this really what just happened…

Jul 16th

idk

Jul 9th

i need to start talking to God more i need to pray, read my bible, praise… it’s so hard now that i’m used to not doing it ok

Jul 9th

1 note

oh my god i am having the worst aching feeling in my palm like between my thumb and my index finger holy shit it hurts so bad its like a dull sharp pain.. you know ahha ok anyway idk how im even typing this its so painful

Jul 9th

1 note

1 tag

but i had a tumblr first :((

Jul 9th

1 tag

i havent been kissed in a while but that’s okay i mean i’m fine with that but what if im really bad next time ok what if i mess up or forget …. omg

Jul 8th

i realized the reason why it still haunts me is because what i felt was real, for the first time. i knew how it all worked- despite my cloudy and unreal preception of the concept- and it came so easily to me. ive never felt anything more natural or substantial in my life with anyone else. because of my longing for the same feeling again, im clinging onto what i am- or was sure of. sigh my life

Jul 6th

1 tag

if you wanted to pry yourself into my life you could have just followed my personal blog

Jul 6th

5 tags

i hope you mean that as just for today, as in it’s going to be everyday that we talk. and that it’s going to be a regular thing, like it’ll become habitual or natural.. im hoping.

Jul 6th

oh i need a list of songs brb

Jul 3rd

it’s too late for you and your white horse.

Jul 3rd

1 tag

but instead, you’re such a tool

Jul 2nd

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and another thing, thats why i need to be alone for the majority of my day. my anxiety makes my “ocd” so much worse and it makes me angry and depressed and i swear to god i need some peace and quiet

Jun 27th

omg i have such severe anxiety, its making my life so difficult and i basically dread waking up every day. i always burst out into tears and i feel like there’s an anvil on top of my chest constantly and every little noise sets me off and the only way i know how to deal with it is screaming and having a bad attitude. but you know what? it’s the only thing i can do. i need a doctor or...

Jun 27th

im really upset but idk is it my fault or… cuz i cant tell and that’s what’s making everything worse

Jun 26th

1 tag

don’t leave your heart with the wrong person

Jun 20th

it really sucks being your friend sometimes

Jun 20th

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i have absolutely no idea where my life has gone im so depressed and i have so much anxiety and everyone hates me for it i hate myself for it

Jun 20th

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[[MORE]]oh but it’s nice to see you happy 　i dont want to talk to you anymore is that okay

Jun 13th

What the fuck

May 28th

I’m so angry with myself. How could i do that…

May 28th

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. (Psalm 51:12 NLT)

May 26th

Why am I becoming so insecure all of a sudden?

May 19th

I shouldn’t be the one going around telling everybody this, but everyone has to hear it once or twice: There will be a point in your life where you’re going to have to just let go and leave whatever’s holding you back.. Let it be a friend, a lost love, a current one, an enemy, a situation regarding money or family (because you can’t leave family) or habit. It’s so...

May 15th

1 tag

When you don’t feel appreciated, you tend to not appreciate things around you

May 9th

1 tag

I see desperation in myself in every step i take and it’s not worth it anymore.. ok.

May 1st

There’s probably nothing worse than going to bed upset. It’s honestly the worst lol.

Apr 27th

so much resentment growing inside of me towards almost everyone and everything i cant handle it anymore i need to get away

Apr 26th

1 tag

Pinch me Is this real This feeling of release I’m floating in your heaven In the corners of my dreams Tasting life Numb again Close my eyes It begins… I cannot stumble here I am safe inside my head When I wake up Ill forget I’ll come back to my mess Safe inside my mind I hide…

Apr 24th

Anonymous asked: who do you want to makeout and cuddle with?

Apr 22nd